I Hate My Generation, But I Hate Yours Even More

"So Ted, what are you doing tonight?"

"I heard they're having a party down the street at this dude's house who I know from my Psych class, but Tricia's gotta work on her art project. So I was thinking about going with her to Panera."

"Hey, they got wifi there. Do you think I could come along and bring my lap top?"

"I don't see why not."

Hell yeah, they got wifi at Panera. So come on down. Don't worry about battery power, you can get the corner table in the back and plug into the outlet around the corner. They don't even care if you don't buy anything to eat. Just get yourself a large drink and enjoy all the free refills you want. Hell, you got the closest seat to the bathroom, too. Yeah, your female friend can work on what could be an art project, but mostly just looks like she's Photoshopping a picture of her and her friend holding what looks to be like a large arrowhead.

You got a project to work on? What's that, you say? Your project involves you getting to level 22 of Hyper Jump Man? FANTASTIC! You're welcome to show up as well. Just throw that computer case and your coats down the bench seat so no one sits next to you. I dig it when there's limited seating around dinner time at Panera.

On second thought, take your power cord out of the wall, take your drinks to go, and go find a fucking life. Please.

I understand that Panera is not a cafe in the classic sense of the word, but still, I sort of see it as a modern, somewhat mass-produced lesser equivalent. But instead of how Bob Dylan sung about "music in the cafes at night and revolution in the air," we get this.

Don't get me wrong. I'm cool with individual people using their lap tops to check email, perform legitimate work and even listen to music while snarfing down a Morning Glory muffin and a cup of Black Goodness. Or if a group project is centered around using the computer as a tool, this is a great use of the Panera wifi. But video games in public are like talking religion in public to me. Some crutches just need to be used in the privacy of your own home.

I play video games. In my house. It's my opinion that playing video games in public places has become socially acceptable. My dad told me about a family who went to Europe, and the 12-year old had his face in his Game Boy the whole time. What a shame.

I just wish people could realize that there's a time and place for everything. Sure, it's just my opinion and my way of thinking, but I think the world would be better off.

Panera Bread Writes Back

I got this little gem in my email the other day regarding my complaint about the stems on the peppers in my sandwich. Note that this is pasted directly from the email:

Derar Jesse,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Panera Bread. We want to provide our customers with thebest tasting, freshest food available. We also try very hard to deliver what customers want andto address their concerns as best we can. I am forwarding your comments to our productdevelopment department for review.

Best Regards,
Pat
Customer Comment Coordinator

At this point, I'm pretty sure my comments were filed in the trash or else will end up in a pile that no one will get to for at least six months. I'm still waiting to hear back from Jimmy John's, but that might take longer because I actually mailed them a written letter.