Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Open Letter to My 20th High School Reunion

Dear Davenport North High School Class of 1987:

I'm sorry to inform you that I won't be showing up for the 20th reunion weekend, starting on July 27. See, I got White Sox tickets for the 28th, and I don't even know who is going with me yet.

I was about to reply to the email I got today to say that I would be coming, but then I remembered I had the tickets. I thought about giving the tickets away. Two seconds later I was wondering who I was going to go with. Most likely, if I find a sitter, I will take my wife.

Sure, I might miss out on catching up on how some of you people are doing. I looked at the guest list, though, and not one of my close friends is showing up. Or maybe they are like me and haven't gotten on the stick and made the reservation yet. Not sure.

It sure does seem like most of us got the hell out of Iowa, though. In regards to all you people moving to Colorado - was it the mountains, or the conservative nature of the state that got you to go there?

I'm also kind of a little miffed about the date of the reunion. Wouldn't it have made more since to do this around Thanksgiving, when most people return to Davenport to be with thier families? We could have gotten together the Saturday after Thanksgiving. That would have been great! Instead, it's been scheduled on a weekend which also happens to be the weekend of the Bix 7 Run, which is a big event in Davenport, where a lot of tourists come into town and eat up hotels. So some of us whose parents also got the hell out of Iowa are depending on decent hotel prices.

It was also decided to pair it up with Central's 20-year reunion. Can't we ever let go of the fact that some of us went one of our high school years to Central, or West, and then the last two were at North? Can't we just let that go? Hell, I only went my Senior year to North, but I'm willing to claim it, even if it was just a glorified junior high. If you should feel sorry for anyone, it should be the Class of '88. Those motherfuckers had to go to both junior AND high school in a middle school building. What a crackerbox that gym was for basketball games. But it WAS loud!

If anything, I would have preferred to have paired our reunion with the Assumption High School reunion. No, I never went there, but 3 of my friends who I met during my college years did, and I still keep in touch with them.

No offense, but it wasn't like I didn't hang out with all my friends at the 5 and 10 year reunions. We did a real bang-up job keeping in touch after those. I know I got some email addresses in 1997, I had a computer then. And I was single then, as well, so I know I wrote people. Did anyone write back? Nope.

So please forgive me, I'm going to enjoy next Saturday evening with a couple of cold beers, the nice Chicago evening weather, and if I'm lucky, the Sox will beat the Blue Jays.

But count me in on the 25th one.



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Blogger Gumbo said...

Motherfucker, you better take me!

11:51 PM

Blogger Inhuman Eating Machine said...

Kelly is one of those North High kids who went to that school for their entire JHS and HS career. What a gyp!

Here's a song called "Class Reunion" that's gonna be on our debut LP. We should be finished recording and mixing it by next week, so the wax should be done by early October, I'd reckon.


I still have your senior picture. You gave it to me at our graduation.
You signed the back, but all you wrote was, "I hope you have a nice vacation."

I followed you to college. I flunked out my first term.
You said I was going nowhere. You'll never know how right you were.

Well I'm a blockhead and a loser,
But I won't hang out with my ex-abusers.
I know they'd all find me amusing,
But I'm not going to my class reunion

I never really fit in with any of your cliques, girl.
I was a target of their insults and the victim of their tricks, girl.

You pretended not to know me when your real friends came around.
You never stuck up for me. You just let them run me down.

The rest of the class- they're probably wealthy, Fiscally strong and so mentally healthy.
They wouldn't care 'bout what I'm doing, So I'm not going to my class reunion

I don't care who's gonna be there, but I’m certain that they don't want me there
That's the reason that I am choosing to not show up at my class reunion
I'll never show up at my class reunion.
Unless I choose to blow up my class reunion

1:49 PM


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