Monday, July 09, 2007

Back From Missouri, On to Houston

We went to Missouri to spend time with my folks over the fourth. My sister moved to the same town about a year ago, and just had another baby girl back in January. As an added bonus, my grandma and dad's sister were also there, so we got to see them as well.

I didn't do anything all that interesting, but I guess I missed the first night where my aunt was stirring shit up with my mom, which in turn, lead to my aunt and grandma staying at my sister’s place. My grandma realizes at around 10:30 p.m. on July 4th, that she has left her pajamas in the van, goes out to get them, and promptly shatters her right wrist when she falls on the steps. The woman is nearly 80 years old and doesn’t need this.

I did enjoy some Schlafly Summer Kolsch Ale, and rediscovered Red Stripe Lager (surprisingly, it sort of reminded me of Leinenkugel’s, only with a bit more banana overtone). My wife made 2 blueberry pies, which I will match up against anyone’s dessert as the Best Dessert Ever.

I’ve discussed I-44 and going to Missouri before. I have never in my life seen a people so adverse to pornography. I really want to get a photo of this location on the side of the road, I’m not even sure of the town’s name. In your view is a HUGE bowling pin, an ADULT SUPER STORE sign, and then above that, a billboard that reads, “Pornography Destroys Lives” or something. At first, I thought the bowling alley was turned into the Adult Super Store, but apparently, it is still there, across from the parking lot from the Adult Super Store. I would love to post a billboard above the one there saying, “If you don’t like porn, MOVE TO AFGHANISTAN!”

So today, I go do a regular day’s work, and then I have to go to Houston for a conference for “Experienced New Hire Onboarding.” It’s going to last a total of 24 hours, or so the itinerary states. I’m sure they allow for some sleep in there, but the whole purpose is to develop networking and explain all the different divisions of the company.

I get to try my train ride to the airport again. I gotta do what I can to decrease the amount of energy wasted in going to such an event. Did anyone watch that Live Earth concert over the weekend? Good idea, but I thought the delivery was kind of shitty. One song from each band? I liked the Live Aid concept a lot better, where they had all day concerts, not so much interruptions (and Phil Collins in both England and New York! Wait…). But apparently, they’re going for the lowest common denominator crowd that needs to be told to switch out light bulbs and stuff. And Linkin Park…ugh. Are these guys from Missouri? They spell like they’re from Missouri. I found this entry from Kissing Suzy Kolber before I saw LP on the Live Earth and thought it was hilarious:

5. "The Trooper" - Iron Maiden - Piece of Mind
Written exclusively about Kellen Winslow (or British soldiers during World War I, I'm not sure which), this is a crowning achievement in 1980's British Metal asskicking. During concerts, Bruce Dickinson of Maiden would unfurl a big fucking Union Jack while singing this song and wave it around on the stage. I'm not even British and that makes me want to machine gun down any piece of shit Flemish person that I encounter. Hey, Chester Bennington of Linkin Park: This is Bruce Dickinson. This is how you sing like a fucking Rock God. Take notes, and then slash your wrists. Pussy.

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